Song of Absolution
by LittleMissCheerios
Summary: Kyra takes a song Reba writes in private one day to help herself cope and turns it into something she hopes can help her parents come to terms with the hurt from the separation, the affair, and ultimately, the divorce itself. She knows the hell Reba and Brock have been going through, and she wants them to face it. (Title changed from I Forgive You to Song of Absolution)


I'd been breezing through each of the kids' rooms picking up their clothes, straightening their messes and making their beds. When I walked into Kyra's room and saw everything in place I almost walked right out again. If it weren't for the guitar in the corner I would have. It had been years. I hadn't so much as picked a single string in the last twenty years. I didn't think I'd even be able to play a chord, but as soon as I picked it up and sat on the end of her bed and pressed my fingers to the strings, in a flash it all came back. I tuned it up and closed my eyes and something that I couldn't explain came over me as I threw together a gentle tune.

"I've been carryin' around this pain, I've been draggin' it like a chain." My eyes popped open and I stopped playing long enough to grab a notebook from Kyra's desk, then I started playing again, singing, writing.

"I've been carryin' around this pain, I've been draggin' it like a chain. A million tons of steel. This hurt is drownin' me inside. It's like an ocean deep and wide and you're an anchor pullin' me down. Pullin' me down.

"And I've cursed your name, I've tried to numb the pain, there's no whiskey, there's no pill to change the way it feels." I stopped and took a heavy breath and put the guitar down. I picked up the notebook and hunched over it and continued to sing and write rather than play. "And I've prayed and prayed for it to go away. There's only one thing left for me to do." I paused. I sat on the bed staring at the page for the longest time. "I forgive you."

As soon as the words were out the dam broke and tears filled my eyes. I'd never written a song in my life, but here it was. Coming together on its own. Like magic.

"I learned I had to set it free. Hatin' you was only hurtin' me. Like poison. I had to let go of the dream that our past could ever be anything but what it was. Any different than it was.

"And I've cursed your name, I've tried to numb the pain. There's no whiskey, there's no pill to change the way it feels. And I've prayed and prayed for it to go away. There's only one thing left for me to do. I forgive you."

I sang the line again because it sounded so strange coming from my mouth. "I forgive you." Did I? I didn't feel like I did, but the more and more I thought about it, the more I sang it, the better I felt.

"And I've cursed your name, I've tried to numb the pain. There's no whiskey, there's no pill to change the way it feels. And I've prayed and prayed for it to go away. There's only one thing left for me to do." By now I couldn't see through my tears, they were all over my face, splashing down on the page like raindrops.

"The only thing for me to do, is forgive you."

I closed the cover on the page and put the notebook back on Kyra's desk and thought no more of it. The next time I heard it, however, it was no longer the same song.

"This next song isn't a song I, personally, wrote, but the lyrics and emotion were so raw that I knew me and the band had to do something with it." I knew she couldn't see me, with the lights right in her eyes, but she looked right at me. "Mom, I'm so sorry for putting you on the spot like this, I know you and Dad are only here 'cause I ain't old enough to be," she got a few chuckles from the crowd. "But this is your song. It wouldn't seem right coming from me."

Then there was a spotlight on me and nearly the entire crowd turned around to see who it had landed on and with one hundred and fifty pairs of eyes on me, wanting to know what this was all about, I had to go up there. Kyra wouldn't continue her set unless I did.

So, I sighed and made my way up there. I stood uncomfortably behind the microphone not sure of what was going on, unsure of what was going to happen. Someone handed a shot up to the stage and Kyra thanked them quietly and handed it to me. "You might need this."

"What are you—"

She patted my arm comfortingly and hoisted her guitar up and started playing. She kept my tune. My eyes opened wide in surprise and I tossed back the shot of tequila. She was right I was definitely gonna need this.

Without another thought I let my voice cut through the stiff air right when it was supposed to. "I've been carryin' around this pain, I've been draggin' it like a chain. A million tons of steel."

To my surprise Kyra picked up and carried the end of the verse herself. Her voice sounded so beautiful singing something I'd scribbled out in complete emotional distress. The song seemed like a song now, not some silly thing I'd poured my tears all over.

Her voice joined mine then, not obnoxiously, just enough to make mine stand out even more than my thick twang did. "I've cursed your name, I've tried to numb the pain. There's no whiskey, there's no pill to change the way it feels. And I've prayed and prayed for it to go away. There's only one thing left for me to do."

The band went silent for a brief moment and I filled the silence with those three damned words that shouldn't have been so difficult to get out.

"I forgive you."

And so Kyra and I continued switching in and out with the verses, somehow she timed everything so that the most raw hard-for-me-to-get-out lyrics came from my mouth. The music itself was so chillingly appropriate that the entire time I had goosebumps all across my skin. It seemed so satisfying to say all these things to Brock this way. I couldn't see him, but I knew where he was, and if he hadn't left the barroom floor to escape Kyra's cruel plan for the both of us, he was sure to be listening intently, probably ordering something much stronger than the beer he'd been drinking when I was propped up on the barstool beside him.

"I've cursed your name, I've tried to numb the pain. There's no whiskey, there's no pill to change the way it feels. And I've prayed and prayed for it to go away. There's only one thing left for me to do." My voice really broke this time, a small gasp managed to elicit itself from my lungs as I gulped for air. Again, the band stopped playing and Kyra's presence all but disappeared as she stepped back from the center of the small stage, leaving me up there in front of everyone all alone. Her soft guitar playing was the only thing offering me any sort of comfort. "The only thing for me to do, is forgive you. Brock, I forgive you." I whispered as I stepped back far enough from the mic for it not to pick up what I said.

I didn't look at my daughter as applause filled my ears, I didn't turn around. I handed the mic to one one of the guitar players and fled the stage. I walked back to Brock, didn't look at him either, grabbed my purse, ordered another shot of tequila, gulped that down and left. I'd be damned if I was gonna let anyone in that room see me cry.

* * *

**_This is a Kellie Pickler song titled "I Forgive You" it was not written by me, I stumbled across it and it seemed appropriate. Seeing as I didn't have another chapter of anything for you, I thought a oneshot songfic would possibly make up for that. I just started a new job and I haven't had time to write you all anything else. I'm sorry! I'll get on one of my other fics as soon as I can, I promise!_**


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